Deep Happiness, The Utter Sweetness of Love
Monday, February 22nd, 2010Dear Friends,
Thank you for the sweet stories and support you’ve shared with me since over the last couple of weeks. You’ve given me lots of smiles and I’ve felt your caring presence in my life.
“It’s the last night…some of you may want to stay up and contemplate your question” – that’s what the teacher of the enlightenment intensive I was attending stated. I hadn’t had a direct experience yet so I decided to stay up.
[A direct experience can be when something moves from intellectual knowledge to a true experience. It can be a sudden understanding that you didn’t have before. Sometimes it’s like a lens shifting a fraction of an inch, and suddenly everything is in focus and you see what you didn’t see before.]
The gravel road crunched under our feet as a handful of us walked to a tiny cabin up the road from the main building where we’d stay up for the night. The warmth inside was welcome: it was a cold December night in the high desert in California. Sparkly stars and crisp air.
I was working on “Who am I?”, going after my own personal experience, not a thought-out conclusion or new idea. Around 2:30 a.m., I noticed a pain in my back…and noticed myself being conscious of the pain…and recognized that I wasn’t the body and that the experience of pain was within my being, which was not a thing. I recognized that I Am, without reference to time or birth or death. The back pain was like a flash of lightning through my awareness, then it was gone. I was 16.
From that first experience, the knowledge of our birthless and deathless nature, that our nature is love and that we are perfect now has been a constant reality and support in the ups and downs of my life. It helped me when I lost my twins and my mother. It helped me when I had cancer. People often commented to me how brave I was in those situations. Nothing has felt like bravery; my sense of calm comes from knowing my loved ones and I are deathless.
It’s because of these first-hand experiences that I’m offering the three-session teleseminar on Loss and also the Spiritual Retreat in Kauai in May. It’s because I’d like you to have the pleasure of knowing your true nature, feeling at ease in your eternal presence. It really makes life more fun – things going on happen within the context of your timeless self instead of you being dragged through life’s ups and downs. Having gone through the experience of my mom dying highlighted the value of the direct experiences I’ve had of who we are, the purpose of life, and divine love.
TAT naturally helps us de-identify from that which we’re not and restores us to who we are. The reason it “works” to do Step Two (…for example: “ it happened, it’s over and I’m OK”) is because we really are OK. “OK” means that life doesn’t mess us up because we’re the eternal substratum of life – so once we return to that as our center, we feel just fine. Not noticing who we are would be like water thinking it’s a wave and never noticing it’s water. OK…maybe this is sounding kind of “out there”. The bottom line is that when push comes to shove and someone you love is dying or you find out that you or someone you love has a life-threatening disease or you lose a relationship that has meant a lot to you, you can be truly OK. I’m not saying I didn’t cry when my mom died or that I’m a cold-hearted unfeeling person. I have strong feelings, but underneath, I’m always really and truly OK. A very happy OK.
People have asked me to share my “Step Zero” – where I’m coming from before even starting the Steps of TAT. So, if you’d like to walk that path with me, join me in Kauai and/or the teleseminar on Loss.
The teleseminar will include loss of loved ones through relationships ending however they do, job loss, loss of an identification (for example when your children grow up and leave your home), loss of whatever. You’ll learn and experience with TAT how to move from distress to inner peace. Click here to join me. The deadline for registration is today, Monday.
During the retreat in Kauai, our focus will be on having direct experience of who we are, the purpose of life and other essential questions. We’re going for change in our direct consciousness, not a mental mapping of where we are and where we want to end up in our lives. We’re not creating a life path or a mental construct of who and what we think we are and what we think life is. We’re going for change in our immediate consciousness, which then naturally and spontaneously guides us in our day-to-day life.
It’s beautiful on Kauai and the island itself feels very supportive to our group. Our group is typically open, supportive and full of good cheer. We work a few hours in the morning, take from lunch through dinner to enjoy the island and each other’s company, then work a couple of hours at night. It’s a great schedule. The biggest value is the opportunity to go for your own experience of what’s true for you — who you really are, the purpose of your life. It’s not usually easy to make time for this kind of inner work. If it interests you, this is a great opportunity. To register, click here .
Just for clarification, nothing is taught about what you’re “supposed to” experience or “how it really is”. There also isn’t anything taught about religious beliefs, or what you should or shouldn’t believe about anything. It’s an open field for you to explore without anyone judging your experience – it’s all about your own discoveries. My life wouldn’t be anything like it’s been without these types of direct experiences supporting my everyday life. Some enlightenment experiences are hysterically funny and surprising along with the thought “Oh! It’s always been this way – I just never noticed!”. Some are just like a quiet whisper. The look and feel of the experiences isn’t what concerns us – we’re after a change in our consciousness of what is. Sound deeply interesting? Click here to join us.
Here’s a poem that TAT Trainer Sara Arey wrote about an experience she had in a Spiritual Retreat I led last year.
The Utter Sweetness of Love
I’m sitting in the TAT Pose,
the intent to experience love is in my heart, my mind, my cells.
My attention goes to my mouth.
I’m inside my mouth.
My tongue and the cavern of my mouth are all there is.
Suddenly, I catch my breath.
There is a sweetness, sweeter than anything my imagination can create.
This sweetness is on my tongue and in my tongue.
This sweetness is all there is.
It’s more than a taste; it’s a vibration that is in every cell of my body.
Tears are rolling down my cheeks at the pure sweetness I’m experiencing.
Nothing I’ve ever felt or tasted can compare to this utter sweetness.
And then, oh God! Then I realize that nothing has been added to my mouth
that wasn’t there before.
This sweetness, this love, this vibration is who I am!
Nothing has been added.
This is me.
Love and warm wishes,
Tapas

